100 Hours

April 27, 2011.  To most Alabamians, that date makes their stomachs have that sinking feeling for just a minute.  To several, it will bring tears to their eyes.  But for me, I remember with a certain fondness what we came to call “Survivor Madison”.  We were lucky, REALLY lucky.  Actually, we were really blessed.  I do not intend to disregard the severity of the storms that day, nor the negative effect that the storms had for days and months afterwards.  My intention is to share a different experience.

  APRIL 27

After multiple trips to the storm shelter at work resulting in little accomplishment by early afternoon, I decided to go home between storms.  We had heard rumored reports of damage by this time.  Schools were dismissing early. Businesses were closing.  I set up my command post in the downstairs bathroom – laptop, cell phone, land line phone, backup hard drive, pillow, and quilt – and called for the one cat that was not cowering under a bed.  I received a call from my sister-in-law that their power was out and part of their neighbor’s fence had blown into one of their AC units and moved it off its foundation.  I told her that they could stay with us and that their dog could stay in our backyard.   Less than an hour later, the storm came through that destroyed the high voltage distribution towers, and we too were without power.  Loss of power was something that I had to deal with multiple times as a child growing up in rural Tennessee, so it is not a big deal to me.  I began gathering items – flashlights, kerosene lamp, portable radio, candles – for what I thought would be one evening without power. We went to bed sad for those who had lost homes and loved ones, but thankful that we were all unharmed and together.

APRIL 28

We awoke to a beautiful Thursday morning to discover that the power outage was more widespread than we originally thought.  We also learned the severity of the damage, and that it would be several days before power would be restored our little corner of the world.  My husband spent the day on the roof of a co-worker’s house repairing damage and getting quite the sunburn.   With a freezer full of home-grown beef in the garage, I realized that we were going to have to find a generator, get the grill fired up, or transport a lot of cow to Tennessee.   After many attempts at phone calls to my in-laws, we finally connected and they agreed to bring us a generator the next morning, since they would not be able to arrive before evening curfew.  (Yes, a curfew was instated due to looting in some neighborhoods.) With this particular burden lifted, my sister-in-law and I started making our game plan for meals for the next several days for the combined family staying at our home now.  We joked with my niece and nephew about how we were living like the first century church, in that we “had all things in common” and that we were “going from house to house”, since we were sleeping and eating at our house and showering at their house.  Our only means of contact with others were texting and facebook posts.  We were even carrying my husband’s old Garfield phone with us from house to house, as it was an old-school corded model.   

 Thursday evening we received word via facebook that a group was meeting on Friday at the home of one of our church members to salvage what belongings had survived the hit to their home. 

APRIL 29

Friday morning my niece cooked breakfast on the camp stove on the patio, and my in-laws arrived bright and early with the generator and several cans of gas.  Hurray! They also brought along some fresh fruit and other food items.  We then headed out for our day of work. 

I was not prepared for the devastation I saw on our way to the Anderson Hills subdivision.  I have seen tornado aftermath since I was 6 years old, but this was different. These were not random homes hit here and there.  These were complete neighborhoods. I tried picturing some houses as I had seen them last, since now there was only a foundation.  My first thought was “war zone”.  We worked into the mid-afternoon carrying items to either a “keep” pile or “pitch” pile.  The highlight of the day was when we were able to back the oldest son’s pick-up out of the collapsed garage and crank it up.  It would have made a great commercial for Toyota.  My brother-in-law arrived from his business trip to DC that afternoon and was given the task of moving their cold items to our place and starting dinner.  We learned that you can really grill anything – french fries and snap peas included.  The evening ended with the kids playing board games and the adults sitting on the patio talking until it got dark.  We felt like we were living in an episode of “The Waltons”.

APRIL 30

Saturday morning we went to our church to help unload and sort a load of relief items that had been sent from a congregation in Montgomery.  Then groups went out into the county to distribute the goods in neighborhoods and to cook for those working near the Monrovia Community Center.  We were glad to hear that we were going to have service the next day.  

MAY 1

The worship service on Sunday was great.  Our minister talked about how it was important to first take care of your family, then your church family, and then your community in situations like we were going through.  The singing was joyous and thankful.  We prayed for those who had lost homes and worse, lost family members.

Afterwards, we split into groups and went in search of those who needed help with clean up.  It was becoming difficult to go into some neighborhoods unless you were registered and had a wrist band.  However, we went to the East Limestone area and helped one of our church families with cutting up trees and making brush piles.  That was the day that I truly realized what it meant to come together as a community.  We had a group come by and hand out water bottles and Gatorade.  We had another group that was giving away hotdogs.  We even had a Dominos pizza employee walk up and give us at least 5 pizzas.

I received a text from my engineering lead that evening asking if I could come to work the next day.  I said that I would be there, wondering how much longer our home would be without power. We had been seeing some street lights on here and there in Madison throughout the day and were very hopeful we would be next.   We all went to bed that night with that good kind of tired and thankful again for a hot shower and soft bed.  Around 10:00pm that all changed.  The house came alive!  Lights came on, appliances started beeping, the printer popped, and the electric litter boxes cycled.   We had POWER!   We quickly ran through the house closing windows and turning off lights.  We woke the rest of the family and had a happy dance. I looked at my watch. 100 hours.  It was only 100 hours.  100 hours of focus on something other than the world.  It made me wonder if we really have it any better than our ancestors.

Emergency Room Survival Kit

“What can I do to help?”

How many times have we asked this question of someone who has called with an emergency situation?  During the holidays, we learned that a friend’s child was being rushed to a hospital near where we were celebrating with our family.  The hospital was several hours away from their own family and support network, so it was no question that we were going to support our friends.   Suspecting that bags were packed in a panic (if at all), we put together our version of an “Emergency Room Survival Kit” to take to them.  The kit was intended to take care of a few immediate needs.    I have also included items for the kit that we did not use but that I recommend being added.

Start with the basics – food and entertainment.  Hospitals involve a lot of waiting and the waiting areas are not always blessed with food or entertainment.

If you know the person’s likes and dislikes when it comes to snacks, that is great. I recommend the following items for a starting point:

• Bottled water
• Granola bars
• Chewing gum
• Peanut butter and crackers
• Fruit
• Small packages of cookies
• Roll of quarters – for the vending machines

If you are unsure about any food allergies, then skip the snacks and just include the water.  Remember, this is just for a day or so.  No need to try and feed an army when it is just one or two.

A distraction is sometimes welcome while sitting in the waiting area.  Consider the following items for your survival kit:

• Puzzle books and pencil
• Magazines
• Newspaper
• Deck of playing cards
• Phone card (not everyone has a cell phone or unlimited minutes)

A must-include item is a small notebook and a pen.  This comes in handy for several reasons.   Visitors can write down their contact information.  The family can write down instructions from the doctor or questions for the doctor.  The family can record who came by to visit.  A mother can record her thoughts in journal fashion.  Go ahead and write in the contact information for a local church or organization that the family can contact if they find that they will be at the hospital for several days.

Toiletries are usually forgotten in the rush of getting to the hospital and stress can sometimes wreak havoc on a person’s body by causing stomach upsets and headaches.  Consider including the following:

• Travel size shampoo and deodorant
• Travel size toothpaste and toothbrush
• Antacids
• Pain Relievers
• Kleenex pocket packs

Miscellaneous items to add, depending on the situation:

• Local map – several big hospitals are located in large cities
• Toy or book for the patient

Whatever you decide to put together, be sure that it all fits in one reusable grocery shopping bag. 

Keep in mind that the family and patient will most likely be moving from one location to another, and you do not want your act of kindness to turn into a hassle for them.  All of these items can be purchased at a Walmart, Target, or discount pharmacy.

Planning a Golden Anniversary Party

According to census bureau statistics, about 5% of couples achieve 50 years of wedded bliss – the golden anniversary.  This IS a special occasion!  Whether you are the children or grandchildren of such a special couple, you want to honor them and celebrate with them in a way that will make them happy.

The first step is to talk to the couple and find out what they want.

Ask LOTS of questions of the couple. I do not recommend a surprise party; the couple should be involved.   An anniversary party is not much different than a wedding reception, when you get right down to it.  It may surprise you what details are important to the couple.  Here are some ideas to get you started in your quest for the perfect party:

Date, time,  and location of the party

Come and go reception or sit-down dinner

Formal, semi-formal, or casual dress

Announcement in the local newspaper or invitation only

Food choices

Decorations

Family photos and/or slideshow

Party favors

In the case of our party, my in-laws wanted to have a come-and-go reception on a Saturday afternoon at the same church where they were married.  We sent invitations to their immediate families and also placed an announcement in the local newspapers to invite friends and extended family.  For the announcement in the paper, they wanted to use a family photo with all of the children and grandchildren, which meant scheduling a session with a photographer.  They were not particularly specific about the food to be served, but my father-in-law did request German Chocolate Cake.  The only decorations that they wanted were some photo selections from the session with the photographer.   Most everything else was left up to us.

The second step is to divide responsibilities among the planners. 

Look at your own schedules and see what is practical for everyone.  If your work schedule is such that you will be really busy near the party date, then choose tasks for yourself that can be done early in the preparations, such as addressing and mailing invitations.  Take into consideration everyone’s skills, or lack thereof.  If no one has the confidence or time to prepare the food, then have the event catered.  If you want to make a DVD of old pictures to show but don’t know how, ask a friend who does.   We were fortunate that we were able to do a lot of tasks ourselves.  Be sure to communicate frequently.  Since we were all in different towns, we set up an online location where we could discuss ideas and post photos and questions.

Next – get started!  My intention with this blog is share what we did for our party, since we had a difficult time finding information on the internet for a come-and-go reception for an unknown amount of people. 

Invitations

We researched invitation ideas and invitation wording until we came up with something that everyone liked.  The challenge always seems to be how to invite someone and say “No gifts please!” as tactfully as possible.  The invitations sent to the immediate families were worded as the following:  “Because you have played an important part in their lives, please join us for a come-and-go 50^th anniversary celebration honoring [the couple] [Date Time Location]  Please bring only your love and friendship as a gift. [Names of children and grandchildren]”  It included a photo from their first year of marriage with the phrase “It’s all because two people fell in love” around it.  

 Additionally, a current family photo with all of the children and grandchildren was placed in the local newspapers with the following wording: “The children and grandchildren of [the couple] wish to announce that a come-and-go reception celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary will be held at [location] on [date] between [time].  All friends and family are invited.  Please let your good wishes and warm memories be your gift.”

Food

We had way too much of some things, and just the right amount for others.  Our menu included a two-layer “fancy cake”, German chocolate cake, lemon bars, fruit tray and dip, vegetable tray and dip, assorted cheese cubes and crackers, barbecued smokies, nuts, and mints.  For drinks, we had dispensers of lemonade, sweet tea, unsweet tea, and water. 

I wish that I could give you a fool-proof way to calculate how much is needed, but I can’t.  One rule of thumb I found on a website suggested 1 oz. of an appetizer per person, which worked great for the smokies, but not for the fruit.  If you are planning a reception with an unknown amount of people, I do recommend that you do some research into local charities, churches, fire hall, etc. that would be willing to accept any leftovers.

Decorations

We wanted to keep the decorations simple but elegant as well.  We were fortunate that the room that we used was recently renovated, and we were the first to enjoy the new décor.  We choose to have two tables for the food, one table for viewing the DVD, and one table for family photos that would double as a gift table.  We also added six round tables for guests to sit and eat.   Each of the round tables were decorated as shown below with a white tablecloth and gold runners.

The table for viewing the DVD held the basket of party favors, a decorative placard, and a flower arrangement.

The other table had family photos and a box for guests to drop cards and notes.  Since my in-laws did not have an “official” wedding photo, we went to the local photo center and printed an 8”x10” of our favorite photos from the few candids that were available and framed it.  We used a small shelf to add height to this table and used a contrasting larger tablecloth to drape over.  The lovely flowers that we had on the food table and photo table were sent by a family member.  They added much needed color to our mostly gold and neutral colored room.  We also added a string of battery operated white lights to the photo table since the lighting in that corner of the room was a bit dark.

We also hung lights from the ceiling in the middle of the room along the top of the newly crafted columns using hooks specifically made for clipping onto dropped ceiling grids.  The lights made that area feel like a promenade.

The Making of the DVD

The greatest challenge for making the DVD is picking through fifty years of family photo albums and boxes of photos that have yet to be put into an album.  We also had digital photos to go through as well.  In order to make the job somewhat easier, we had a set of criteria we followed for choosing the photos.

• Each picture had to have one or both of my in-laws in the picture
• The picture had to have my in-law(s) looking at the camera or it had to be very obvious who it was
• The picture needed to be flattering, unless it was really funny.  For instance, we had one picture where my mother-in-law was getting a pie in the face.  Not flattering, but definitely funny!

We chose and scanned all of the film photos that we wanted to use and made multiple backups for the family.  We also added an old photo of the place where my father-in-law proposed (the drive-in theater) and a jpeg of the movie poster (Blue Hawaii).  Several songs were chosen for the DVD and the pictures arranged to fit the songs.

Love Me Tender

Can’t Help Falling in Love (specifically requested by mother-in-law)

Going to the Chapel (wedding photos)

On the Road Again (travel photos)

Life is a Highway (more travel photos)

Stuff That Works

You’ve got a Friend in Me

Stuck with You

What a Difference You’ve Made in My Life

With over 200 photos, each was shown for 4-5 seconds so that the video would play 6-8 times through for the duration of the party.  Since we do not live in the same town as my in-laws, we spent several days during the holidays choosing and scanning the photos. Allow yourself at least 30 hours for this task, depending on the number of photos you have and whether you personally own a scanner.  Time for the assembling of the DVD will vary based upon your level of experience with the software you choose, so be honest with yourself about your skills and give yourself plenty of time.  If you are hiring someone to create the DVD for you, check with them one to two months prior to when you need the DVD to find out what kind of backlog they have.

Location of the party

I wanted to share a few things to remember about choosing a location:

Remember the honorees.  Try to choose a place that holds special memories for them.  For my in-laws, this was the church where they got married those years ago and now have attended for almost 35 years.

Remember who the guests are.  Be sure that it has adequate access for handicapped individuals.  This is a fiftieth wedding anniversary, and most of their friends may not be able to negotiate stairs very well.

Remember the number of people that will be in the space. In our case, we had no idea how many would be in and out at a given time, but as it was a fellowship room at a church, we knew it would be sufficient.

Remember traffic flow.  Be sure that you can have all of your cake and eat it too, literally. Our room was large and four-sided with no obstacles to work around except the columns.  The room allowed for a variety of possible layouts.

Miscellaneous goodies

We wanted to have a few extra-special items at our party as well.  Pinterest is a great site for searching out 50^th anniversary party ideas.

In lieu of a guest book, we found an idea online for a memory book created with notes from the guests.  We placed a glass bowl on each of the round tables with pens and note paper with the following instructions:  “We’re making a book!  We would like to include your note to the couple or favorite memory!”  The papers are from booklets of scrapbooking tags that we picked up at Joann’s in the dollar bin and the pens are from Staples.

We chose to make party favors, that came to be fondly known as the “parting gifts”,  for our guests.  Using 12”x12” colored paper from Hobby Lobby, we cut three vertical 4” wide strips.  We then attached a 3” wide strip with two photos – then and now – of my in-laws along with a paragraph of their history between the two photos.   We printed these ourselves, since photocopies did not look good at all.  A double hole punch at the top along with a 6” length of gold sheer ribbon also from Hobby Lobby added a nice touch. 

We also wanted candid photos of the party, so we had three family members with cameras walking around capturing those special moments of the couple with old friends and family. You could also ask a friend or two to help with this, if all of the family members will be busy talking with guests.

My mother-in-law really liked a decorative placard she spotted in Old Time Pottery that said “All Because Two People Fell in Love” , but it was rather large.  We were able to find a smaller one that was appropriate sitting on the table for DVD viewing.

Don’t forget the corsage!  We asked which florist would be providing the flowers and we dropped in and ordered a corsage to match. We did this the day before the party, but you may want to give your florist more time.

Since we depended on several local friends to help with the arrangements, we make "thank you" gifts for them as well as our hostesses.  This idea was found on Michael's website. 

We had our fun and frustrations with planning and executing this party, but it was all worth it in the end.  I hope that I have been able to help you in planning your special occasion.