My Punny Valentine

I just love a good pun, especially on a card, and more precisely, on a Valentine's Day card.   I am not a fan of mushy, lovey-dovey cards.   I think these just depress those who stand in Hallmark reading them wishing they had that "someone special" to send them that card.   And who talks like that anyway?   I am all about the card that makes you pause for a nano-second while the phraseology sinks in. And then you giggle.  Or even groan. A groan is definitely better.

I spent some time googling and perusing Pinterest for  Valentine puns and finally narrowed it down to my top 7 groaners- perfect!  We'll call this the "Week of Pun".  They were chosen based on favorite hobby, favorite movies, insides jokes, and fun memories.    I then did my own take on them for the hubby.    I chose to make postcards using the Avery online design tool for postcards and printed them on plain white cardstock.    Avery has some really cute stock backgrounds and clip art.  I opted to use Avery over Publisher for these cards because Avery also has an easy way to edit each image on the page, and I was making only one of each card.  With a few hours of downloading clip art and fonts and manipulating them in various software packages (Paint and Powerpoint), I was finished.   Each evening, starting on the 8th of February,  I left a postcard on his nightstand, and then this morning I gave him the last one.    

 Day 1: You are so deer to me.   Big T enjoys the hunt.  Here I used some scrap cardstock, camo ribbon, rub-on letters, and a big ol' deer sticker.

Day 2: You are the obi-wan for me.   Married to a computer geek. Of course he likes Star Wars.  I used a download of R2D2 clip art and a Martha Stewart background in Avery.

 Day 3: I stink you are so cute. Pepe is everyone's favorite Looney Tune this time of year.  This is downloaded clip art again with an Avery valentine clip art for the bottom row of hearts. I used a corner punch for an extra touch.

 Day 4: We were condiment to be together.  I actually came up with this one on my own, after seeing a lot of these sweet "you are the peanut butter to my jelly" type valentines. Some things I eat together just gross him out.  Why not make fun of it?  I actually created it in Powerpoint with downloaded clip art and then converted it to a .jpg file in Paint.  I then added an Avery background and it was complete.

Day 5: You are one in a minion.  This is a tribute to one of our favorite movies, Despicable Me.  This is once again downloaded clip art with an Avery background.  I also added googly-eyes for a little extra dimension.

 Day 6: I'm so glad that you are my otter half.  We saw otters in the water when we went on the glacier cruise in Alaska a few years ago. Most of the cards I saw online either used a cartoon or rubber stamp for this.  I opted for a photo, also downloadable.   Did you know otters hold hands when they sleep so they don't drift away from each other?   Everybody say "Awwwww."

 

Day 7: Will you be my tweetheart?  I just thought a tip of the hat to social media was in order.  This  was also downloaded clip art and an Avery background.  Use any hashtag that strikes your fancy.

I even carried this punny theme over to our Bible class goody bags. This really is a sickness. The teacher had already bought the goodies for the bags, I was just assembling them.   When I saw that she had these adorable heart shaped mazes, I knew exactly what I had to do.   Since I wanted to print multiple copies of the same thing and I wanted to use a font that was not in the Avery software, I used Microsoft Publisher for this one.

(Note to the parents: please don't tell the kiddos. They are getting them Sunday.)

But it could not stop there.  Oh no.  Big T thought he would be smooth and give me a punny card too (with some help from Hallmark).

I really love it.  How did he know that this one was on my top 10 list?

Keep the fun, and the pun, in your relationships!

Stage Fright Spray

Step right up, step right up folks!

Right here I have the greatest thing going in the world of performing arts.  It will give you the confidence to orate without raising your heart rate!   You can walk the dais without being fazed.    Stand before your peers with no fears!    What is this incredible invention?

It comes in seasonal scents and a variety of colored bottles to suit the customer.  The container fits perfectly in a purse or backpack.   Directions are simple and refills are available from the manufacturer so that you can be "green".

Stage Fright Spray was a creation in the most flippant and unassuming way.   Talking with a young friend many months ago, he stated that he had stage fright.   Knowing full well that he had successfully stood before a crowd of over 100 recently, I questioned him about that experience.   His logical answer :  "That wasn't on a stage.  I stood on the floor."    Okay, got me there.    At that point, I made a mental note to use caution when using idioms like "stage fright" in front of children.    In an offhand way, I replied that he just needed a bottle of my Stage Fright Spray, and he would be fine. 

Fast forward to spelling bee time at the local school.   Being the scholar that he is, this same young friend qualified to participate in the school wide spelling bee, and guess what?   Yep, he was going to have to stand on a STAGE.    Two days before the contest, I get a text from his mom.   He wants to know if he can get some of my Stage Fright Spray.   Of course!

Using the Avery online label design software, I quickly made the label from stage clipart and some fun fonts.   On the front it says "Stage Fright Spray"   and "Guaranteed to keep the belly butterflies away!"     The directions on the back say  "Three good sprays on each shoe and the stage cannot frighten you"  with a note at the bottom:  "Testing has shown that one deep breath and smiling after spraying will improve results by as much as 50%."  (I love my friends' kids, especially when I can be cheesy with them.)

I put the label on a travel spray bottle and filled it with water.  Since the bottle was blue and it was winter time, I opted for adding just a drop or two of mint extract from the kitchen cabinet.  After tightening the top and giving it a  good shake, it was good to go.   He was quite excited about getting the spray, but I knew the real test would be a couple of days later when it was go time.    I was nervous.   Would he really get on stage?  Or would he figure this out?  I mean, he is competing in a spelling bee after all; he is one sharp cookie.

I am happy to report that he did indeed get on that stage and make it through several rounds.   He even used the spray again later on a family trip so that he could go on stage at a comedy theater.   

So now I am thinking about the spring and summer version.  It will probably be a citrus smell; lemon is such a sunny scent.  And then I wonder if I will be making him a high school graduation version many, many years from now.

Everybody needs their own little bottle of Phillipians 4:13 every once in a while.